News sweiV

Admit it, most of us are News-Junkies. Or At least I am. It is not our/my fault that we are so given the world fact that men are more prone to news than women. Seen any woman reading a newspaper in the morning regularly? Because we men would like to stay updated on world affairs, but women, they just want to know what happens next door or happier reading the news rather than listening to it. That’s why the mega serials and soap operas have steady TRP ratings.

What constitutes NEWS?

Vernacular Newspapers have their own idea of what news should be. Everyday there should be 10 murders, 5 rapes, 6 eloping and a couple of suicides scattered throughout the paper. I can imagine the sub-editor asking his chief that they are one short of 5 rapes for the current issue and the chief editor asking him to publish some rape they published about a month ago. I mean who cares about the names if they are given a detailed graphic description of the events.
The electronic media in India goes a step further in that they show the actual events as it happens. Anything and everything is breaking news. This was a recent news item.
“Breaking News: Maha Tense”


For a minute there, I thought wow, News has become really localised that my next door neighbour Maha was tense of me dumping garbage near her house and it made Breaking News. No it was not to be, it was that Maharashtra was tense because of the recent developments and they have squeezed the news so much so they could add an advert. Don’t confuse it with Mahi, it means M.S.Dhoni. If he is tense then Deeps should have gone to Yuvi. How I hate these shortened versions. These channels come up with flashy headlines like PM and the Dragon- for our PM’s state visit to China and so on. But do they give news; no they give you their views. To get the news on a particular item you have to watch at least ten different channels, each having their own version of the events. We have the shortest attention span; whatever happened to Mumbai molestation. In a country of 1 billion people everyday women are molested in buses, trains and crowded places. But that doesn’t make news, only if it happens near an upscale Mumbai Hotel where the women themselves were too drunk at 2am and later thought that the alleged molestation wouldn’t be made such a big issue. Believe me the news channels wouldn’t let go of this golden duck and would make sure it is made a big issue by repeated telecast of the same, until of course the next big story happens. Exposes were and still are main fodder for these channels with each fighting with the other in showing sleaze in the name of entertainment news and on the other hand playing Good Samaritan with some major development happening only due to the impact of these channels publicising them. Seems like no end in sight with every year new channels and papers being forced upon us. The old Western dialogue of “This town aint big enough for the two of us” doesn’t hold true here.

My News

Ok wise guy, where do you get your news? You may ask. Well I watch BBC World. Back in 2003 when the Iraq was in full swing, one BBC correspondent reported that the Government had “Sexed up” its claim that “Iraq could deploy weapons of Mass Destruction within 45 minutes of the first instruction” citing an unknown source. There was huge furore after this and the issue was discussed in House of Commons. The source, David Kelly, a British weapons expert in chemical warfare who had worked for the Defence Department, committed suicide after he was named as the source and his body was found in the woods few weeks later. A public enquiry was held by Lord Hutton and he reprimanded the BBC and its correspondent for airing such news. Today we know that no WMDs were found in Iraq, only Oil that’s what they came for is it not? Their government did sex up the fact to justify the invasion. So whats new you ask. Many of you might not be aware or remember the above said facts. If you think that BBC is a private firm owned by some anti-Government agency think again its state owned public funded television similar to our Doordharshan. Can you imagine DD standing up to our Government’s actions? The BBC gives you both sides of the news, although after the reprimand it’s reporting of the Iraq invasion has been a little biased. Lastly they don’t shorten Maharashtra to Maha. That’s what I like the most.
Vorsprung Durch Technik.

Cool if off

Serious topic hah guys. Last time I was talking about wet underwear. Back in college this was the centre point of a discussion between two of my friends. It all started when my friend was wearing new footwear and the other quizzing him as to where he got it like had he been to temple or a wedding and stole it there. He promptly retorted back that at least he stole his footwear from temple but the quizzing friend gets his underwear from temple ponds and that too when they are wet. At this point I was in peels of laughter that I didn’t notice my quizzing friend had become furious on hearing this and had removed his slippers to hit my friend who was standing near him. He threw his slipper at him and the other ducked. The slipper flew and hit one girl nicknamed poochie dangerously close to her temples and she nearly fainted and collapsed. Believe me his slippers were of the type 3 pound wooden slippers sages wear in Mahabharat serial. All this happened in a flash and even after I realised what had happened I was laughing and I laugh louder than anything. On afterthought my loud laughter might have added have to his furiousness. Anyway no harm done, the girl survived the asteroid impact with no serious injury but a lingering headache for the rest of the day. I still laughed while writing this and it comes to my mind whenever I hear wet underwear.

Words on Tshirt:



Video Of the week

Did you notice that there are no sentences in brackets as I promised last time around? Woohoo Eaei Me.

Au revoir until next time.